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Job prospects for the losing MPs

We’re almost there. The election is only 2 days away, with any luck some of our more prominent politicians will soon be looking for alternative emloyment. I was giving some thought to writing about this issue, when our good friends at Frank PR gave me a call and reckoned their client  MyWorkSearch.co.uk had done some thinking on this very issue. This obviously pleased me greatly, as instead ofhaving to put some thought into this issue, I could just copy and paste! So thanks to MyWorkSearch.co.uk, I'm about to have a beer with the spare time you have given me! My personal favourite is the thought of Lempik Opik as an erotic fiction writer! 
CONSTITUENCY SKILLS,EXPERIENCE, PERSONALITY IDEAL JOB
Gordon Brown, Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath Likes meeting members of the public, not afraid to express his views,  champion of minorities (especially Eastern Europeans) Community Diversity Officer
David Cameron, Witney Member of the ‘Bullingdon’ club, likes making cuts, enjoys running outdoors, wants to ‘beef up’ national security Organic butcher
Nick Clegg, Sheffield Hallam ‘Man of the people’, likes putting a spanner in the works Plumber
Jacqui Smith, Redditch Original ‘Blair Babe’, knowledge of education, detention and sex laws, husband enjoys adult films Anne Summers Party Organiser
Vince Cable, Twickenham Experienced orator, good with numbers, used to playing second fiddle Second-hand car salesman
George Osborne, Tatton Used to making predictions on the economy, intricate knowledge of mortgages having been investigated over his repayments by the PSC Estate Agent
John Prescott, Hull East (Standing down in 2010) Likes fast cars, knowledge of self-defence, experience of being a deputy Police Chief
David Miliband, South Shields Expert in foreign etiquette, known for charm, used to waiting (in line to become next Labour leader) Concierge
William Hague, Richmond (Yorks) Known for comic wit during PMQs, experience of TV presenting, preceded David Cameron, boasts 14 pint minimum Warm-up comedian
Ed Balls, Morley and Outwood Reputed for being aggressive & ambitious with a treasury background. Once called the ‘most powerful unelected person in Britain’ as a civil servant Bailiff
Lembit Opik, Montgomeryshire Rated most liberal MP in parliament, known for liking twosomes Erotic fiction writer
Nick Griffin, Barking Cambridge graduate with good writing skills, likes uniforms, used to daily abuse from the public Traffic Warden

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