Emotional intelligence should be in your internal comms toolkit

Think of a time when you delivered a message that landed badly. Chances are, it lacked emotional connection. It didn’t consider what people were feeling or how the message might be received in that moment. That’s where emotional intelligence comes in and it’s a skill no AI tool can replicate.

This week I’ve been preparing to deliver a workshop on emotional intelligence in communication, and it’s something I find myself talking about more and more with internal comms professionals. In a world full of change, uncertainty and information overload, how we make people feel matters just as much as what we tell them.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand and manage our own emotions, and to recognise, understand and influence the emotions of others. It’s often referred to as EQ (Emotional Quotient).

What makes up emotional intelligence?

Psychologist Daniel Goleman identified five key elements:

• Self-awareness. Recognising your own emotions and how they influence your communication.

• Self-regulation. Managing emotional responses, especially under stress or pressure.

• Motivation. Staying committed to purposeful communication, even when challenges arise.

• Empathy. Understanding the feelings and perspectives of others, a crucial skill in change communication.

• Social skills. Building relationships, resolving conflict and influencing others.

It’s different from IQ (Intelligence Quotient) which measures how smart you are. EQ is about how well you connect with others. It’s your ability to read the room, anticipate reactions and flex your tone or timing to meet people where they are.

EQ equips internal communicators to deliver difficult messages like restructuring, policy changes or major initiatives with empathy. Emotionally intelligent communicators don’t just pass on the facts; they acknowledge the uncertainty and anxiety these changes may bring. They signal that they understand, and they’re there to support people through the transition.

Helping leaders do the same

Some of the leaders we support aren’t natural communicators. That’s okay. Our job is to help them understand not just what to say, but how to say it. Understanding emotional intelligence gives us the tools to coach leaders in showing vulnerability, sharing difficult news and building psychological safety.

Five ways to boost emotional intelligence in your comms work:

Start with listening

EQ in communication begins with understanding how people are feeling. Use colleague, conversations and feedback to guide your tone, timing and content and meet people where they are.

Write with empathy

Words land differently depending on someone’s mood, mindset or stress level. Before you hit send, ask: “How might this message make someone feel at 9am on a Monday?” Be human. Be inclusive. Test it with a trusted colleague if you’re unsure.

Be honest

One of the fastest ways to lose trust? Glossing over reality. Emotionally intelligent communication doesn’t sugar-coat. It’s honest and transparent even when the news is tough.

Make space for dialogue, not just delivery

EQ reminds us that communication is a two-way street. Invite feedback and don’t forget to close the loop. People feel heard when they see change.

Consider tone and timing carefully

That campaign might be ready to go but should it? After redundancies or during uncertainty, pause and ask: “Is this the right message, in the right way, at the right time?”