Did you have a fun 2012? Neither did I.

Some people seemed to cheer up a bit for two weeks during the London 2012 Olympics, but fear not, I retained my stoical Britishness throughout ...

Here’s a few reasons why 2012 was sh*t:

1. Recession: It will never end. My incomings stay the same (fifth year in a row with no pay rise) while my outgoings rocket. And that’s before I’ve bought my kids the iPhones they want for Christmas.

2. Climate change: The summer was crap and now the winter is freezing. And I can’t afford to fly off somewhere hot (see above). And all the news about climate change is damn scary. I’m doing my bit though, I keep turning the central heating down. Then my wife turns it up again.

3. Tax avoidance: I can’t afford my tax bill, so it is galling to see rich corporations avoid tax. I tried to boycott Amazon, but when I actually went shopping I had to queue to get into the car park, I had to queue to get into the shops and then I had to queue at the tills too. So I decided to boycott the boycott!

4. Post-Olympic blues: The Olympics did prove that, other than me, the country is a) good at sport and b) able to smile. This was great but it makes the post-Olympic sporting mediocrity and commuting anger all that more difficult to bear.

5. The Leveson inquiry: It dragged on and on and dominated the news, cost us all a fortune and will probably change nothing.

6. The Euro crisis: It‘s no fun going on holiday in the Med anymore, it‘s too depressing. But still horribly expensive.

7. Politics: One word. Coalition. Just goes to prove that two heads are definitely NOT better than one.

8. Royal pregnancy hype: I am thrilled for the royal couple, but appalled by all the hysteria in the media. Poor mite is already getting overexposed.