Do you grit your teeth sometimes as you “like” another of your Facebook friend’s posts, when really you’d like to “dislike it” because you know they are presenting an image of themselves that is false?

I know I do.

Here are some typical Facebook updates that make me want to throw my iPhone against the wall.

1. Pictures of cakes. Showing off a picture of a home-made cake online is a patent way of saying you are a domestic goddess and your home is only full of joy and giving. Yeah, right.

2. Jokes and cartoons. If you are so witty and funny all the time, how come you never make me laugh when we actually meet?

3. Your kid’s exam results. Really? Why on earth would you want to post such a blatant boast that implies a) your child is a genius and b) it is thanks to you as you have provided such brilliant genes and a great education? Your kid may be clever, but boasting about this just makes you look like a pushy parent, rather than a good one.

4. Any profound thoughts. Any pontifications on Facebook never look profound. They just make you seem deluded as it is obvious you think you are rather a philosopher. Which you ain’t.

5. Pictures of you laughing with a big group of friends. Okay, that may be a rare shot of you looking happy and extrovert, but I KNOW you. I know what a miserable f*cker you are in real life.

6. Excerpts of right-on articles about the environment. If you are so keen on saving the planet, how come you are always flying to those exotic destinations you’re always boasting about on Facebook?