Why every PR office needs an old git

Last night, apparently, was a riot. People in the office can’t talk about anything else – how they drank “Loads" and that they "Can’t believe you did that!"

Well done. You're a real record breaker! One in a million. Back in the day I'd have drunk you under the table, you little wretch, in fact, in the Lad Bible stakes you're not fit to lick the soles of my shoes.

They may think I am over the hill, boring and a waste of space, but I reckon I still have my uses.

Here’s why every PR office needs an old fart like me.

1. The voice of reason. I'm not interested in the political or hyped up nonsense of agency world, I care about the truth, good work and to be fair - making money!

2. Work is not a fashion show. I no longer feel the urge to follow the latest fashions, and boy, what a relief it is to wear nice jumpers and comfortable shoes. The youngsters in this office may sneer at my nondescript fashion choices, but I think over-trendy people are scary.

3. Working hours are not a competition. People who have been in this game for a few years know that it’s pointless to work long hours. You can only be productive if you aren’t tired. By running out of the door at 5.30pm I am setting everyone a good example. And sometimes I don’t even scream as I make my mad dash for the door.

4. Crumbs in your keyboard are unnecessary. Again, us sensible, middle-youth people know that lunch hours are important. And bringing a sandwich to the desk is not a good idea, as you end up with indigestion. So please don’t look at your watch and sigh when I come back from my lunch-time walk. Okay, I may have been gone a little longer than I intended, but I felt I just had to pop into Marks and Spencer for a browse …

5. Coffee counts. Why do young people drink the instant stuff? Thanks to me, the office kitchen is well stocked with decent, fresh ground coffee.

6. Jokes. My “dad” jokes are the best. Did you know what Polynesia is? It’s memory loss in parrots. Beat that for funny!