Hacked Off Flack on organising the Christmas party

I don’t want to go to this year’s office Christmas party because I know it’s going to be shite. I know this for a fact because I have helped to organise it.

Now, I have plenty of experience in organising events for clients, some of these have even been a success but to organise an event, I think you need to be given complete control. The problem with our Christmas bash is that we have organised it as a team. And, as with anything that’s arranged by committee, this hasn’t gone well.

Here are a few of the non-alcohol-induced hiccups we have encountered:


Can we just put on our best bibs and tuckers and turn up? No. There has to be a theme. This has involved many arguments. James Bond? My boss doesn’t approve of gambling, so no casino theme is allowed. Glitter and sparkle? This was deemed too girly.

Someone even suggested “vicars and tarts”, how 1970s! Not to mention offensive. In fact, most themes were no good, because “some people” (my boss) will only wear black in the evening. So we went for film stars in the end. Someone suggested I come as Oliver Hardy so I wouldn’t have to dress up too much. Funny.


Well, if we’d wanted a decent venue we should have booked this last year. Even the rooms above local pubs are booked up way in advance. I would tell you about where we found, but a) I don’t want you turning up uninvited and b) I am ashamed about how downmarket it is. But it’s better than being out on the street!


This caused tears and tantrums. Because everyone in our office seems to have a friend or relative who is some sort of entertainer (I use that word lightly) and who would be willing to put on a show for a modest (but not that modest) fee.

In the end it was a matter of putting all their names in a hat, as the arguments were getting so heated. I hope our account executive’s grandpa is as funny as she says …


As the company is paying for this, cost became a bit of an issue. It was hard to find food, drink and entertainment for £25 a head, as was the original suggested budget. I kid you not. My boss still gets the vapours when she remembers how much this party is costing.

Creative Moment Awards 2020