There is no need to sleep your way to the top, but being friendly never does any harm

If journalists and contacts are refusing to return your calls, you are probably failing to charm the people you should. Clients and contacts appreciate PROs who are efficient and effective, but being plain friendly is important too. The question is, how friendly is too friendly?

“Without a doubt, PROs should always strive to be on friendly terms with key contacts, especially journalists.” says Lois McCloud, account manager at PR agency Cirkle. However, McCloud does not think this relationship has to develop into anything more: “It’s not always necessary to become ‘friends’ exactly, as that can sometimes seem forced”. McCloud points out that the nature of PR means you are often speaking to the same people day in, day out, which means it is natural for some friendships to form, adding: “I have formed very friendly relationships with some of my key contacts and often pick up the phone just to see how they’re getting on – sometimes, it’s just nice to be nice.”

Pamela Lyddon, founder of digital agency Bright Star Digital, agrees that it is good to be friends, but that being false is never going to fool anyone. Lyddon believes that the secret of good PR is “who you know”, and being sincere helps to develop great working relationships: “I treat my clients how I would want to be treated, this means that I can always be honest, give good counsel about what will or won't work which is crucial in relationships with clients. I am not a ‘yes’ woman and will say if it's a bad idea and work with a client to get it right for them.“ This strategy has helped Lyddon get very close to some of her clients. She explains: “When got I married last year, three of my guests were clients who I can also say have become good friends.”

Being friends may be good for business, but being more than friends is not necessarily better. Laura Ashley-Timms, director of coaching at BusinessCoaching.co.uk, has worked with clients who are romantically involved with business associates in a client-customer context. Ashley-Timms says she often gets asked if there are any guidelines to stop anything going drastically wrong and offers three key tips (see below) for managing personal/work relationships. She also highlights the importance of good communication, as in any relationship, and adds: “The good news is that many people do in fact meet at work or through work and go on to have fabulous relationships. This can often involve the entire marriage and kids gig. Where the relationship is genuine all of the smaller issues are surmountable.”

Ashley-Timms’ tips for being close and staying professional:

1) Distinguish between the one-night stand or something more serious

The business dinner may have been fun, the flirting is exciting and the wine rather smooth – but stop and think of the consequences before you dive in. A one-night stand is highly likely to damage your professional relationship unless you’re sure with 100 per cent certainty that you both have identical expectations. If your aspirations are more serious then take it slowly.

2) Evaluate your worst-case scenario?

Are you still able to work together professionally?
Will it affect your performance at work?
Could you be forced to leave your job?
Can you handle the consequences?
Can your partner handle the consequences?
If the worst-case scenario doesn’t phase you then it is probably worth it.

3) If you’ve got it don’t flaunt it

It’s not that you have to hide your relationship, but you do need to act as professionals in a professional setting. No flirting, no discussing your love life, no touching or kissing, no lover’s rows. Treat each other with same respect you allow other colleagues. Ignore this at your peril – if your colleagues start to feel uncomfortable around you it will affect everyone’s performance.